How to improve a difficult relationship with a co-worker

From time to time, relationships with co-workers may become strained or just never get off to the right start. Depending on whether you are a full time employee or contractor there is a different way to handle the situation. If you are a contractor, call your agency and have them take up the issue.

Behave

So you feel very turned off by your coworker. Their mere presence upsets you and you are irked by their words and actions. Stop. Be professional. Treat them with respect and continue to work collaboratively as best as you can. Do not be a part of confrontations or disputes with this coworker. Furthermore do not complain to your other coworkers about how much of a problem you are having with this person. That does little for the team dynamic and you may be looked at as the disruptive one.

Why is the relationship strained

Step back and take a look as to way the relationship has become strained. Is it due to work performance?  Is this coworker under-performing in a way that is affecting your goals and objectives. Are you having to work extra hours and take on more responsibilities to cover for what you may see as incompetence? Is this co-worker being dishonest and causing stress within the organization? SIt down and really think about what is causing the strain and then you take the appropriate steps to improve the relationship.

Set goal

What do you want to do? How do you want to resolve this conflict? It is important, moving forward, that you have a clear idea of how you wish to relate to this individual. The most important aspect is to always maintain a high level of respect not only for this individual but also for the your co-workers and organization. 

Communication

As much as possible, document your communications by using email or having another person witness. Do not set up direct face to face meetings without a third party and ask that your manager mediate some discussion in an effort to move the relationship forward. Do not manipulate facts to skew your story because that will neither impress your colleagues nor manager. They will be more aware of the facts than you may be aware. Speak the truth and be accountable for any areas that may be your responsibility. Don't be critical but provide solutions speak of "areas" or "opportunities to improve.

Speak to your manager

Be constructive when approaching your manager about a strained relationship in the work place. Do present it as a complaint but, rather, share that you recognize that the relationship is not optimum and you are seeking advice on how to improve on that . Your goal is to look like a team player who is looking to do what is best for the group.

Do your job

Despite everything that might be happening and regardless of how poorly you feel (emotionally or mentally), you must focus on your job. Step up and try to go above and beyond. Let your manager and co-workers see your effort. Always show a positive attitude and don't play the victim. 

Do not work to get them fired

This is very important. For legal reasons do not put up efforts to jeopardize the job security of the person you are having conflict with. It may be seen as vindictive and unprofessional. Your manager may see it as cancerous and would rather let you go instead of risking this behavior and attitude spreading to others in the team.

Help them do better

Be the bigger person. Help them improve in the work performance and show interest in what they do. This may end up being the most effective solution.